1. Relationships shared around forgiveness
How do you and your partner deal with conflict in the relationship? Misunderstandings are not the problem in a relationship; how you deal with them is the issue.
A strong relationship does not seek to reduce conflict because there is always going to be some.
Daniel Wilde said, “Choosing a partner is choosing a set of problems.” There is no partner whom you will not fight with, get annoyed at and complain about. Indeed, fighting is good. Research shows that a couple that is not fighting three years into the marriage has an unhealthy relationship.
In a stable, healthy marriage, arguing is not a sign of doom; it is healthy and natural. Successful couples focus their attention on solving the issues rather than attacking the other person. Also, when they resolve the matter, they forgive and forget.
According to Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D. a licensed marriage therapist, the true measure of the strength of your relationship is how fast you reunite after a disagreement. Spouses who are in strong relations take the initiative to invite each other back into their world after a disappointment.
What to do if you have poor conflicts in your relationship?
Unhealthy relationships are characterized by poor conflict resolution skills.
Do you stay angry with your spouse after you have fought? Do you hold grudges long after you have had misunderstandings? Do you ignore essential issues by sweeping them under the rug? Or do you freeze emotionally and shut down when your spouse has wronged you?
The need to reestablish the emotional connection between you and your spouse and to the desire to restore security in your relationship must override your hurt feelings.
Many times, we must choose between being right and being happy. Holding a grudge will breed resentment, which will in turn destroy your marriage.